super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
