I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
