Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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