I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
