there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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