if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
