And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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