Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
