how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
