Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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