Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
