Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I checked into jail on foursquare
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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