no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
