Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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