i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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