Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
