Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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