I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
