Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I want to make a zoo with you.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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