I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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