with your own penis?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
