I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
