His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
