But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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