All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
