what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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