i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
