Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
