Pappa wants mamma naked
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Do vagina's smell?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
