I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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