Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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