i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
