I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
