I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
