Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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