no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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