we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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