girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
