hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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