Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
