I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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