I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
