Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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