Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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