i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
