i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
