Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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