"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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