I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
