I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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