Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
