That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
