is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
