He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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