where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
