his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
