BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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