We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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