I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
